The Lonely Life Of a Trucker's Wife
People don’t have a clue about being a wife of a trucker. They look at you like you got it made. “As if!” Being a trucker’s wife is a hard job.
Being a trucker’s wife and a mother on top of that is even harder.
Not only do the wife have to muli-task, housework, laundry, run errands, pay the bills, when and if she receives a check from her husband. But, she also has the task of caring for the needs of their children school work, cooking, after school activities. In if she has an outside job Lord help her.
A trucker wife has to manage and balance the income while her husband is away. She has to do the oil changes on the cars, any repairs that need to be meet, and let’s not forget about that forest that grows in the front yard yes, “mow the lawn.”
She has to be a mom and dad to the children, along with running her husband errands. A trucker wife has to make sure things run as smooth as possible while her better half is on the road.
A trucker’s wife dream of a fairy tale marriage was buried when that eighteen wheel giant pulled up to her front doorstep. Now she has to deal with the love of her life being gone 75% of the time, while she’s home alone taking care of the fort.
She has to deal with the public in their opinion that do not have a clue, nor understand what our way of life is all about. She constantly has to defend her husbands profession and the choices that they both make for their family, each and everyday of her life.
She has to deal with being alone and having to protect her family and keep everything secure so her self and her kids will not be harmed if anyone tries to intrude into their space.
A trucker’s wife has to deal with her parents and In-laws with their comments and opinions. She has to sit back in smile at the family gatherings and on the holidays when her husband is unable to be home enjoying a nice birthday or Thanksgiving holiday. She has to hold her head high and sacrifice celebrating her wedding anniversary and other special occasions on another day of the year.
When her husband comes home she has to put her life on hold so she can enjoy and relax for the 1-2 days her husband is home. Along with satisfying his needs, washing extra loads of clothes and bedding and put up with his some time grouchiness from being tired and not wanting to go out or visit family or events with her. She has to listen to him b**** about the conditions out there on the road and with the shippers, brokers, and customers. She has to be the support system he needs to release his frustration and pain when the time calls for it. She has to listen to him grip about money, how expensive things are on the road, asking can she cut back on something to make it better for this or that reasons. Like her budget isn’t already tight enough.
She has to have trust and faith in her mate, not to accuse him of cheating. A trucker’s wife life isn’t an easy one. It’s a demanding one who has to be independent, strong willed, patient, very tolerant, and understanding. If you really care for your husband you will have no problem with the sacrifices and changes you will have to deal with in the trucking industry.
With trust and communication you will be able to deal with the daily trails and tribulations of the trucking industry. Your marriage will make it!
Be Inspired!!!
Warrior Chic
XOXO
i came across your blog and loved it...it put me in tears...if you don't mind i put it in my blogger and also put your name on it so ppl know that i didn't write it...are you a truckers wife and if so who does your hubby work for...mine for schneider...been together 5 years...he started truckin about 2 months into our relationship and been married since 6-06
ReplyDeleteHi Debbie sorry it took so long to reply. Please refer back to my welcome back post and you will see life got really busy for me. However I'm back now. Yes, I'm a trucker wife. I've been married for eighteen years and a trucker wife for 15 years. I have four beautiful kids and dog name Diesel. I'm a Professional Organizer who specialize in health and organize kitchens to transition into a healthy lifestyle. I'm also a Lifestyle Management Consultant. I offer life guidance in the area of organization, health, and marriage. Most of my clients are trucker wives and stay at home parents who need help with household management and adjustment to our lifestyle. In addition I do pre-martial counseling. I worked as a marriage counselor and sex coach for many years as well as in the mental health field as a Individual and Family Therapist. Enough about me! My husband started off with many companies. Than he transition into owner operator. Those outlets never worked for us. For the past 14 years he has worked for himself he has his own authority. This works for us in order to have control of his time and ability to come home a little more. I hope to hear more from you. Please drop me a line or to about your life. I love hearing my Warrior Chic life stories. I'm so proud of all of you and your courage to live this life. It takes a special woman to stay and make this life work. May God bless you and your family.
DeleteI'm a truckers wife. My husband started this job back in October of last year he has been allowed home once since he started and I have been quite lonely. Im a mom of 2 one being a newborn keeps me to face more of a challenge with my husband not being home until his probationary period is over which has been 6mons ago along with classes and training. I miss him so. Always looking for pen pals or email buds alektralp@gmail.com or Facebook Alektra Brooks is the nane. Keep a smile always ladies!!!!!
ReplyDelete- Alektra
Hi Alektra, I know how lonely this life can be at times. In the beginning I struggled a lot. After going through my Quarter-life Crisis i beginning a personal journey of self awareness and things got better for me. I healed a lot and rid many false beliefs. I began counseling, organizing and focusing on my own life purpose. Once I got my own life in order I was able to focus on my marriage and supporting my husband. I know this life can be hard when you have kids, your own career and trying to balance your marriage in between all of this. Stay strong this to shall past. It will get easier. That is if you accept it, grow and develop and learn what things you can do for you and your family that makes sense for improvement. Everyone life experience is different so we all must find out what works and what doesn't to make this lifestyle work in our favor. May God bless you and your family. Keep Smiling I believe in you!
DeleteHi there! Loved reading this. My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2 years(married 1 year, tomorrow) and he's been OTR for 1 year 5 months. We have 2 of our own(and raise my Niece and Nephew) kids and it is hard. Friends and even family don't understand the loneliness and the depression we and them get. I get SO tired of hearing others complain about their hubby's being at home, or that their hubby's are on a business trip for a day or two or a week. Mine is gone 6-8 weeks. As a matter of fact, tomorrow will be 9 weeks. He's due home tomorrow, but of course, the loads not ready and he's 1,225mi from home. I wont be seeing him until Monday. Then he gets to spend 4 days at home and leave out again for however long. Right now we have no phones, so communication is hard, but we are doing it old-school and he's been calling on payphones. It sucks. I also hate when people bash truckers. If it wasn't for them, they wouldn't have a single thing in their house! Oh and don't forget the worrying!! I worry every day that something terrible is going to happen. Thank you for writing this!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get, my hubby and I have been going this route for twenty +yrs and it's still very hard....but thankfully , i got blessed when I entered this family and married my trucker, cuz, his grandfather was a trucker and so are a few of his cousins, so they feel my pain and frustration and hubby's too.
DeleteHi Eva, you are so blessed to enter in a family who gets this life. I can say to have people who understand what you are going through and how you feel is a blessing. Not only can they understand but they can drop some wisdom on how to cope and manage your life. May God continue to bless you and yours.
DeleteHi Sara, I understand your frustrating. Family and friends will NEVER understand what you are going through within this life. They just don't get the concept. Many will say oh he came home if he want to but sometimes it isn't that easy. You have to look at this lifestyle just as you would a business. Everyday he's home their is no money coming in. When he's gone everything is time sensitive and don't let me get started about the weather, road condition, and his self care ( Nutrition and Sleep) to be able to drive safely. I have learned to not share my frustration with those who just don't get it. They think you are complaining when in fact you are lonely, stressed out from holding down the fort and sexually frustrated- at least this is how I feel LOL. Keep your game face on socialize with other trucker wives or give drop me a line I'm here I understand. 15 years and I'm still rolling! Roll On Warrior Chics! I love You all.
I happened upon your blog.... thinking of vlogging myself. My husband just finished school and went off for training yesterday. I won't see him for 3 weeks and then it will only be for a few days before he gets his truck and is out on the road. I'm excited and yet apprehensive as we embark on this new journey in our lives. With seven children I'm already busy and presume to be even ten times more so now. It's good to know there are others out there!
ReplyDeleteI would love to see other trucker's wives start blogging. So few of us out there. I recently started my own blog: truckerswife.net.
DeleteHi Amanda and Lucy,
DeleteI agree we all need to stick together and support each other. Write away. It's very relaxing to communicate with others who understand. Drop me a line or two and keep me posted about your journey. Take care love and blessing. Express yourself you never know how your unique story will help someone else improve their condition within their life. Be Inspired!!!
Love your blog. My wife and i been doing this 20 yrs. I dont know where i would be without her. She takes care of everything while i am gone. Including, raising the kids. Their all on there own now. I currently work the oilfields and i am gone one month and home for ten. Maybe one day we can have a normal life.. Until then, i salute my wife Jennifer and the rest of the wives of truckdrivers and oilfield workers alike. Without these dedicated women in our lives, the world would be a difficult place..
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DeleteHi Mike love your post!
DeleteI agree without our Warrior Chic's all of these dedicated women in a trucker life, the world would be a difficult place... my hubby depend on me a lot with his personal errand as well as his business. In order to make this life work you must become one and work as a team. Love and Blessing to you and your family.
Thank you Mike! It's rare and very special to read the guy's view. My hubby's into oilfields as well n it was nice to know us strong ladies are out there.
DeleteSafe trips.
So nice to read a trucker's appreciation for his wife. It definitely takes teamwork for a relationship to make it in this business.
ReplyDeletehttp://truckerswife.net
Momma/sister, you have said it to a T. I'm married to my high school sweetheart and he's been a trucker from just out of high school (he's almost 41 now), and I'm a sahm mom of four in that exact predicament, but you've missed adding in the fact of communication between you he and the kids....my kids and I do goodnights w/daddy every night or almost every night and when it comes time to talk about important stuff, that should be communicated in person, hold on to your hats folks, that's when life really gets hard. I read what you wrote after just finding this site and wow, everything you said was my life to a T. Thank you and we'll keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteHi Eva thank you for the lovely post. I LOVE how you involve your hubby every night. My kids FaceTime their dad every day. Although he has missed family BBQ's not once has He missed his kids Birthdays. I plan well. My hubby has a fit if he is left out. I always joke around and say well that's the life you choose. But on the real he is home when it counts. Outside family BBQ are not important as your kids bIrthdays and Christmas Morning-this is a must BE HOME OR ELSE. LOL! Love Yeah take care and stay strong.
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ReplyDeleteMy husband currently works for CVS and he's been trucking for 10 years now, he usually runs up to Montana for a few days.. but luckily he comes home for the weekend. But still those few days he's gone feels like an eternity. I praise the women who don't see their men for weeks at time, you girls are strong! We recently just got married, but I'm still trying to adjust to his life. I also work full time so I understand the overwhelming work of keeping a clean house, and still having to go to work. I work the days he gets to rest, so it's sometimes difficult to find ways to spend some time together. But I love my husband unconditionally and I wouldn't have my life any other way! (:
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post. Yes finding time to spend together is a real challenge. When my hubby comes home he is very tired and sleep most of the time. I try to plan ahead of time because I know the importance of rekindling and keeping things as connected as possible. Being that you have to work during the times he is home I understand that you are tired from working all day. Try to make the time anyway it will literally save your marriage and let him know you are all in. Good men understand how hard it is for you to balance it all. I hear stories everyday because I give lifestyle guidance to many trucker wives and I also help them enhance the mood of their bedrooms so it can remain in a relax state for the purpose of setting the mood, de-stressing, and creating a renewal for hardworking couples. Try change your decor so it feels peaceful, clean and relaxing. You guys don't have to have sex but at least you can cuddle and enjoy each other company within a relaxed environment when you get home from work. Light some scented candles, purchase a romantic comforter set, make the room feel as cozy as you can and pop in a relaxing movie and just BE TOGETHER touch, hugs, kiss and enjoy each other comforter. Love and Blessing thanks for being STRONG. It will get better if you find what works for you guys. Don't let others who aren't trying to do all they can to save their marriage or make this life work plant distress thoughts about this life. Find you a positive supportive group of truckers wives that are doing all they can to make it work and support their husband. I am living proof that your Hell can turn into a blessing. I hope what i post encourage you and help you and some way. Love Ya! Be Inspired! May God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHi Le Toya,
ReplyDeleteMy husband is in the heavy haul trucking business and it takes him away from our young family for months at a time. I agree with everything you posted above. Damn that extra laundry! We are fortunate to have such a hard working man of the house. I do get lonely and depressed but we have mastered the 'trust' in our relationship over the last 6 years. My friends think of me as a single mother, I say 'single mother with a decent trust fund'. I often attend family functions with just the kids and it is weird but you hold that head up high! My world became smaller when my mom passed away suddenly and my dad and I became estranged. They were a huge support in my life as a truckers wife with two kids in diapers. Time has passed, my kids are bigger and I have found joy in the small things. I am an avid gardener, sewing novice, cake decorator, creative chef and trying my hand at writing! I have become so strong! I am good with many power tools, do tune ups on my lawn mower, clean my gutters, hang Christmas lights and shovel a ton of snow. (Canadian eh? Lol) Being a truckers wife and mother can feel like a thankless job...but we got this! Thank you for your post! Keep strong!��
Hi M. I'm so proud of you and your ability to keep learning to make this life work for you and your family. Many of my clients are Tuckers Wives and have a hard time finding strength. I agree mastering trust is a must to live within this crazy lifestyle. However, we all know our hubby and trust can be achieved once all parties are on the same page. I love hearing your story. Drop by anytime. I have confidence in your ability to write it takes time and patience. I started out by creating a daily schedule and moved up to setting a word count goal. I wish you the best of luck in whatever dreams, goals, and aspirations you choose for this lifetime. Much love to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog and I love it you are exactly right. I have been with my husband for 13 years we have been married for almost 11yrs and he has driven truck the whole relationship and for the last 10 years our whole family has been bagging for his attention. The relationship has been 1 sided I would hide little love notes I his bag and get nothing in return and that's. It why I did it but once in a while would have been nice. We have 5 children and they are just begging for his attention our 7yr old daughter sees videos of dads with their kids and she will cry and say I wish my daddy was like that. It kills me and I tell him I have been talking to him over the last 10yrs and he just ignores it. Anyway enough about my sad relationship thanks for your blog it's exactly what I needed.
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