Stuck in Funk? We Make Our Own Choices: From Feeling Lonely to Dedicated and Strong

A Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

- Mignon McLaughlin

During my quiet moments I often think back to the days when my children were young. Life was busy and depressing for me then. I worked part time as a professional organizer, I did marriage counseling in the evening three times per week, and I was in school completing a bachelor degree in Health Service Administration and I hated my life as a trucker wife. Most mornings I cried as I made breakfast for my girls. But I did what I had to do as a wife and mom. So I managed our home, completed my degree, and did part time work just to have a outlet and change of scenery. I did this daily in spite of the fact that every moment was spent in misery. 

To tell you the truth I  didn’t know if I was coming or going. I remember feeling like dying would be better than this life. Because trucking is not a job or career it’s a lifestyle. Its your life 24/7 and it will be there every day for the rest of your life. It took me a long time to realize this. After about  four months in and no hubby I was shocked. I still couldn’t believe what was happening. All I could think was what the hell did I agree to!

I tried to remain calm in the present of my children. But life really had a stronghold on me. It really does takes a village to raise kids on your own and I was doing it for 24 hours a day with no help. I was the primary caregiver learning daily new skills of homemaking and care-taking. In the world eyes I was married but in reality I was living life as a single mom. The hard part of trying to live in a neural area to see your hubby a little more is that you lack a support system. We lived in Atlanta and all our family was in Florida. Although I agreed to this insane lifestyle were everything falls upon the wife shoulders she has to  multi-task, do housework, laundry, run errands, pay the bills, do the oil changes on the cars, any repairs that need to be meet, run errand for her hubby while he’s over the road, care for the kids, and hold out on sex and  companionship to name a few. Real talk you need a certain mindset and mentality to be the best person you can be in this type of  relationship. 

However today is much different. Me and my husband has been together for over 18 years and 14 of those years we have been married and my husband has been driving trucks. Although it was rough in the beginning, as I mention earlier we seemed to have found our niche. 

I have grown and matured a lot. I’m much more confident, have good self esteem, we both know our self worth and have good communication skills as well as a wonderful perspective on life.

Don't get me wrong, we still have our moments, but they are few and far in between. My husband gets home maybe every 3 weeks and when we are together, we treasure every moment we have. The statement " distance makes the heart grow fonder" couldn't be more true in our case.

I attribute our success to open communication, trust and unconditional love. I write these inspiration messages to other wives to help bring hope and inspire them, because it isn't easy, but your family is worth it. 

In the meantime, my children and I have the time of our lives together. We have weekly family nights, we visit family whenever we go to Panama City Beach which is our second lifestyle. We have a “try something new” day when we all eat something we never had before, or we research fun topics and create a fun snack from the lesson. For example we learned about rainbows and clouds. After our research we made clouds out of blue jello and whip cream. We made rainbow cupcakes by adding food coloring to the cake batter before baking. It might not seem like much to some people but simple crafts and projects like these mean the world to my kids. The point is to spend as much time together as a possible. They already have one parent that’s absence at times from their lives so as a trucker wife we must make the most of the time we have together. 

Creating positive childhood memories is my number one goal. When their father is home we always do something as a family. It’s never expensive just small acts of kindness and quality time it could be watching movies, walking around the mall or Target. Just anything to say remember that time when… 

This life can help you grow and it can also make you grow apart. The choices is up to the individual. It’s your job to choose how you want this life to affect your marriage and kids upbringing. Time quickly passes, and you must learn to be creative in making the most of your time. 

When I think about the day I realized this life was not what I had signed up for, I realized that as upset as I was, it was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. I enjoy my children and husband more than I ever had before and we are able to spend quality time together consciously, rather than wasting time unconsciously. I have many memories of laughter and playing with my children, bonding and spending time with my husband that will last a lifetime. I don’t think we would have these type of memories if we lead a traditional lifestyle. We would be too busy living individual lives rather than partnering in life. That’s the key to this lifestyle couples must bond and create a partnership. You truly must become one. 

In this lifestyle your mindset and behavior will have to change if you want to experience the home life you desire, and that your family deserved. This new experience showed me I could be a competent, loving and supporting wife, and that I could miss several weeks of not being with my hubby without feeling incomplete and lonely. I made the decision to choose balance, peace and harmony. I learned to let go of things that seemed important, but in the final analysis were not; such as nagging when he left to go over the road; or did not come home as expected. 

This season of my life has been truly the best days of my life, and amongst the transformation I’ve built the perfect business and never once have I cried making breakfast. I am truly blessed to have been forced to create a stronger bond within my family. I hate to admit but agreeing to this unconventional lifestyle has been one of the best things that ever happened to me. 

Be Inspired!!!

Warrior Chic

XOXO