Hey Trucker Wife! I’m Back Start Here

                                                    Hi Trucker Wives It's Me Again!!!

I have some explaining to do!

I have an overwhelming soft spot for trucker wives and any woman strong and confident enough to lead a long-distance marriage. I’ve been with my husband for 26 years and we have been married for 22 years. For those entire 26 years, I’ve been living the life of a trucker wife. What we all have in common is the loneliness and the longing for a hug or a partner to cuddle with while watching Scandal. In long-distance relationships, at least the trucking lifestyle trucker wives hold out hope that something's going to change someday, that all this impracticality will eventually give way as soon as our trucker can find something local. Until then we live for the future and believe in the impossible, or at least the improbable.

In 2009, I began a journey as a loner trucker wife seeking ways to cope and adjust to my new lifestyle. I began to write a post on this blog about the frustration I was going through. I felt lost, confused, abandoned, lonely, and sexually frustrated due to short periods of intimacy and companionship the telephone just wasn’t cutting it for me. I even got diagnosed with a condition called vaginal atrophy at age 26 which was uncommon you can read my story about my broken vagina here. 

Throughout my journey of self-discovery, researching the trucking industry, and learning how to cope and adjust- I’ve learned ways to live independently, balance my household responsibilities, rebuild my esteem, face childhood abandonment issues, take better care of my health and reconnect with my over the road truck driving hubby. 

My confidence came after realizing how much I had to offer as a trucker wife, mom of four, businesswoman, and advocate for healthy living and stronger family connections. Today I run Spiced Life Conversation, LLC a nutrition and lifestyle management wellness center, and The Light of Day Inc. a nonprofit organization that helps displaced families and trucking families in crisis. In my private nutrition practice Spiced Life Conversation, LLC I work as a licensed board-certified nutritionist, life transition counselor, and mindset coach. I’m an author of the Loner Wife and Warrior Chic series. In my nonprofit organization  The Light of Day Inc. we focus on felt needs within the community teaching lifestyle management skills, nutrition, and spiritual counseling, we have a food pantry, sweetpea closet, Avon supplies blessing bags and we are in the process of obtaining transitional homes for families in crisis and creating a community garden to help with healthy fresh organic whole food eating. Our outreach program is called Step by Step International Ministry where we counsel, and give life management resources, clothes, and food to displaced/trucking families, homemakers, teen mothers, and their families. We also give help to women who have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Brain Aneurysm. We help their caregiver come up with a plan to get their life and home in order for the purpose of easing the household management stress. We help with meal planning, routines with kids if not already in place, and decluttering the home so it will become more manageable during their treatment. We do this to help ease the stress so they can focus on getting healthy. 

Spiced Life Conversation is a nutrition and lifestyle management wellness company that helps women, trucker wives, and homemakers bring balance, order, and harmony into their lives. We offer educational resources for:

-Homemaking: storage and declutter tips

-Healthy Living: menu planning and recipes 

-Career Planning: free range lifestyle management for writers

-Marriage Enrichment: reconnect advice for long-distance marriage

-Advice for new trucker wives to cope and adjust to their new lifestyle while learning to become independent and make their hubby a better husband, father, and man. 

As you read this blog, you’re going to find that I am a cheerleader for marriage for husbands and wives. I believe a long-distance marriage can work if both man and wife make an effort to stay committed to each other for life, work side by side, and sacrifice for each other. Those three suggestions are the building blocks of healthy families, prevention of divorces, and broken homes, and an example for our kids to understand how marriage is supposed to look. In short, my aim is to help women learn how to take better care of their health to prevent divorce and rebuild humanity’s broken families. 

As much as I believe in marriage, the building of this blog has been difficult to create. Because it requires a lot of time, energy, and research. For the past seven years, I’ve been building three businesses as well as rebuilding a distance marriage and supporting my husband with his OTR trucking career. 

I’ve learned a lot from my seven-year absence from this blog and I can’t wait to share with you the tips and ideas that helped us bring balance back into our lives. During my travels and day-to-day work, I conversant with hundreds of women; homemakers as well as trucker wives. I love our chit-chat over coffee about our lives, our struggles, and how we can better manage them while doing fun things to bring spice back into our married lives to stay connected to our OTR trucker husband. 

Although I’m having conversations about my personal life and struggles. I’m speaking into the lives of many of the women looking for guidance and tips on how to make this life work, supposedly telling them what to do. During my coffee and conversation sessions I’m very blunt and straightforward forward I tell my trucker wives sisters whom I call Warrior Chic’s, “Come on, let’s be real, you know what your hubby needs. Stop focusing on his career choice and you expect him to make you happy. And just do what needs to be done to make the best of your time and be the strong, confident woman I know you can be. Get your personal life in order, your household, and focus on your marriage can you improve the condition as a win-win.”

Your focus shouldn’t be on the loneliness, his workload, the absence, or your insecure beliefs that he may be cheating. But rather on being the wife your husband needs. Let me stop right here for a moment and say this: 

“Your husband is a sacrifice too, he’s lonely, sexually frustrated, and tired also while traveling down the road of life with a sense of purpose and focus. Doing their best to bring home a paycheck and be a good father and husband. I know many of you have gotten involved with some selfish men who have taken your love and kindness for granted. Then there are many trucker wives whose husbands weren’t strong enough to resist the temptation that comes along with the lifestyle. But there are a few good men and husbands out there.  This blog is created for those wives who support and build those men up so they can continue to be the men they need to be for their families and our country to keep the goods and services flowing in to feed all our families. We are all in this lifestyle for one reason to provide for our families. So let’s build those trucker’s families and new wives up. Real Talk if you ask any real trucker who's handling their business an affair is not an option for neither is divorce. Don’t get distracted by other people's stories. the reality is you don’t know their prior life, their mindset, or behavior. Nor are you aware of the payoff they’ve experienced during their duration of marriage. Trust me people seldom tell you the whole story before entering the trucking life. I was a marriage and sex therapist for three years I’ve seen and heard it all. You must know your husband and take all stories and advice into consideration before accepting it as truth.” 

Back to my point, In my weekly life review coffee and conversation sessions my tone is natural and comfortable, no wife is going to be offended by that or my choice of words. But I can’t use that tone with trucker wives I don’t know. I can’t say, “Hey Warrior Chic, just give your old man what he wants,” Yikes. That sounds creepy, doesn’t it? So, I figure the first step in gaining your trust is to introduce myself. 

Hi, I’m Nikki LeToya White, Ph.D. Some call me Dr. White. I’m a mom of four and trucker wife of one. I’m a businesswoman who owns Spiced Life Conversation a nutrition and lifestyle management wellness center located in Atlanta, Georgia.  The Light of Day Inc. is a teaching and counseling ministry that creates information products to help women who feel stuck in a funk, lose their sense of self, experience distorted thoughts, and struggle to organize and manage their household and take control of their lifestyle. In our outreach program Step by Step International Ministry, we help displaced homemakers create their own income and become self-sufficient if an unfortunate event such as divorce or loss of a spouse enters their lives. We help displaced families get back on track. We also help teen moms take control of their situation and lead self-sufficient lives. We offer counseling, life management educational resources transitional housing, food, clothing, and toys. We also accept donations which can be sent to 2890 Ga Hwy 212 Suite A-247 Conyers, GA 30094. For local drop off contact me for the time and location to drop off any unwanted supplies that could help our transitional families get back on their feet.

I experienced a Quarter-life Crisis in my twenties when I was judged for my choice of being a stay-at-home mom. You can read the full story in my book My Testimony My Truth. I received my bachelor's degree in Health Service Administration Management. My master's degree in Education and my doctoral degree in Counseling. During college, I worked as a substitute teacher, and youth counselor and did professional organizing on the weekends. Before being a stay-at-home mom I was in a five-year career as a Telecommunication Installer Technician. My husband and I traveled to all fifty states installing telephone equipment for Bell South, AT&T, and Verizon. I worked all the way up to my eighth month of pregnancy, pulling 350 cables, climbing ladders, and powering up BDFBs so all of you can be able to talk on the telephone. I didn’t let my company know I was pregnant until a month before I resigned to become a stay-at-home mom. I married the love of my life in Jamaica where I became pregnant during our honeymoon. We’ve been together for twenty-one years and married for seventeen years. I suffered from abandonment issues from childhood when my mom left me to live with my great-grandmother to pursue her career in law enforcement. This event was triggered in my twenties when my hubby began his OTR trucking career. I don’t know my father. I’ve been working to rebuild my relationship with my mom because I learned that blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. The past cannot be changed. The future is shared by our current thinking. Lousie Hay's teaching taught me that we are all victims of victims and our parents couldn’t possibly have taught us anything they did not know. My mom leaving me to stay with my grandmother was not an act of hate it was an act of love. She did not intend for me to experience abandonment, trust, and self-worth issues. I believe she was trying to create a better life for us. She was unaware at the time of the consequences of her life choices and the effects it would have on my life. 

We live both in Atlanta Georgia and a Salt Life Lifestyle on Panama City Beach, Florida which is where I grew up. I’m married although I live life as a single mom. I’m a trucker wife, business owner, and a 24/7 mom of four Navione 16, Natavia 15, Devon Jr. aka D.J., 11, and Nalashia 10. I’ve written many resources on life management, the trucking lifestyle, and living a long-distance marriage for my clients. I love centering my life around my family. I plan to go on a book tour and meet and greet this year I will post my schedule with the dates. I love hearing from readers, and past clients who have not relapsed with organizing and managing their homes and personal life. I also love the meet and greet events where I sign books and take pictures with all the strong trucker wives. 

I used to work as a marriage counselor and sex therapist for three years and for a mental health agency. I’m still a health and wellness consultant for trucking companies here in Atlanta along with running my own three businesses. 

So There. I’m just a regular mom and wife living a free range /trucking lifestyle. I take proud in looking at old truths in fresh ways and applying them to  marriage, career, health, and homemaking. My goal is to help as many people as I can manage and improve the condition of their lives with any luck the information on this blog will help you connect, reconnect, balance, and bring order to ALL areas of your lifestyle.  Thanks for spending this time listening to the purpose of my return to this blog. What I am hoping this blog will do is open people’s minds and hearts when it comes to truckers and the role they play in our country and our everyday lives. In conclusion, I want to invite other truck drivers and their families to share their stories with me, maybe together we can bring new light to the situation.

Your New Friend, Private Nutritionist and Lifestyle Consultant, 

Nikki aka

Warrior Chic

XOXO

To connect with me visit me over at www.spicedlifeconversation.com